This is for all of the people that are wondering what the hell is wrong with me. So, here's the deal, I recently painted a super cute Demonette on the inside of one of my contact lenses. You may even find yourself asking, "why I would do such a thing?" Well it turns out that I have the attention span of a small rodent. This means that I find myself getting bored and losing interest rather quickly. One thing leads to another and I found myself diligently working and creating this dangerous beauty. When I finished I put the contact lens back on my eye. Then I proceeded to chase her around the room.
Unfortunately, there was only one image to chase and I found myself running around in circles. Eventually I passed out and hit my head pretty hard on my desk. When I awoke several hours latter I decided that I should take the contact lenses out, before I caused myself anymore "headaches". I sat down for a long moment trying to get my bearings and thinking intently on the lessons that I could learn from the experience. I came up with the most brilliant idea my mind has ever conjured up. It was a spark of genius that human beings have rarely encountered in their brief existence.
Ok, so while you were eagerly awaiting my revelation. Fear not my fellow citizens, Dr. Knarf's story is far from over. So, where was I? Oh yes, hit by divine revelation, I proceeded to copy the image on the other contact lens. After hours of painstaking work, I finished an exact duplicate on the contact lens. I put the contact lenses back in and when I opened my eyes to my amazement there was the most beautiful Demonette I had ever had the pleasure to set my wondrous eyes upon. I couldn't resist and ran after her with enthusiasm and vigor undreamed of.
When I awoke several days latter in the hospital, I was confused and slightly disturbed. I was told that I had to be restrained by six orderlies and sedated with enough sedative to put a small whale to sleep. I asked them what had happened and the doctors said that I had been apparently chasing an imaginary girl and raveling like a lunatic. Also the reason that I was in the hospital is that one of my family members found several Frank sized holes in the walls and I eventually ran strait into a brick wall and knocked my dumb ass out cold.
When I came to I was incoherent and foaming at the mouth going on and on about some "Demonette". After I pulled one of the paramedic's arms out of its socket they sedated me. The doctor asked me if I had any idea why I was found wearing contact lenses with a picture of a pretty girl in them? I told the doctor, that I am sorry and I that I have no idea I don't seem to remember anything. I lied my ass off. They said to me that they wish to keep me under observation for the next couple of days.
While I am waiting, I decided to write this adventure down in the hope that I may learn something from it. So Dr. Knarf, what do you think you learned from this event? Um . . . wear a helmet next time? Obviously, I learned nothing.
Stay tuned and keep your eyes pealed for the next thrilling chapter in the Direct from the pages of Memoirs of a Laboratory Monster: The Doctor Knarf Story. And now for a word from our sponsors. Tonight's hidden message is: concentrate and ask again. Brought to you by the fine folks at the Atomic Café. "The age of space is here!"
